America's (AWOL) Action Hero Wannabe

Get your own "Gee, I George", Start Your Own War and Declare "Mission Accomplished" Today!

Just think of the fun you will have...

...defending the borders of Texas from the Vietnamese.

...refusing to take those stupid military drug tests.

...making those daring keg runs.

...hopping across the border and hanging out in Mexican brothels with your buds.
(Prostitutes sold separately)

...snorting half the GNP of Colombia.

...receiving special shipments from daddy's friend, Manuel Noriega.

The Hero That Lies

NOW with magnetic feet.
Put him up there next to your dashboard Jesus and listen to them discuss the holiness of splattering 'raqi women and children with MOABs and M-16s! With George and Jesus you've got one badass killing machine right there to satisfy all your desires.

One full year of spellbinding and spineless-tingling AWOL action!

Body-bags for Barbie and Ken included.

so you can tell when he is lying

Includes (shown) "Photo-Op" attire.

Pull the string and hear him say...

"Major combat operations in Iraq have ended."

"We have no evidence that Saddam Hussein was involved with the September 11 attacks."

"I,.. er,... uhh, duh, uhh,... uhhh?"

"I aint cleanin' my puke from that plane. Get some private with a poor daddy to do it."


Proceeds, may in part, be used to pay off Diebold, ESS and EVS for completely unverifiable and unauditable elections as well as the Supreme Court which will block any counting of the votes altogether.

Coming SOON:

Not One... not Two... but THREE new "Gee, I George" action figures

"Gee, Ima biznus man, George"

With anthropobiznusman George you get to have fun losing other peoples money, start an oil company funded by the Bin Laden family and then acquire and sell a baseball team with shady deals unsanctioned by the MLB, leaving the Texas Rangers with huge debts.

"Gee, Ima gov'na, George"

With anthropogovna George you get to mismanage a state budget, help create a whole bunch of monopolies and then make the taxpayers pay back the people who lost money from "Gee, Ima biznusman George" including the outstanding debt of the Texas Rangers.

"Gee, Ima president, George"

Undermining National Security since 2001!

Hurricane hits the Gulf? Worst natural disaster in U.S. History. Whata'ya do? Take two more days of vacation
Spend a day at a country club in Arizona playing golf. Attend a fund-raiser.
Cut some birthday cake wih John McCain in San Diego.
Play guitar with some has-been country music star who will bear your awful guitar playing.

Four days later have Air Force One dips its wing on the way back to Washington to "view" the disaster
Meanwhile, Condi is shopping for $3000 shoes in New York. Dick hasn't been heard from since it was learned he was part of the administration's plan to expose our CIA operatives to the world as an act of revenge. (latest word is that he was closing on another mansion and then decided to take a fishing trip.) The CIA people involved were only doing Homeland Security work such as looking for global company money-flows that might be funding a nuclear attack on the U.S. Nothing important.

For six years the % of people living at the poverty level in the U.S. goes up!
'bout time we got it back up to where daddy had it.

All your criminal friends and cohorts get high-level government jobs.

Spending more time on a military base for photo ops than spent as an active reservist.

With "Gee, Ima president George" you hire Diebold to rig the election in Ohio while your brother rigs Florida again. You get to mismanage a whole country's budget, create more monopolies, lie to an entire world, start more wars (you know,... WMDs), destroy the economy and send a lot of people to their death. Plus you get to fail at foreign policy and fail to catch the likes of Osama Bin Laden by making the countries that harbor him, our faux allies.
If some dictator with lots of money, but no real army or weapons, hates your guts? Spread them lies far and wide and spare no expense destroying his country and its people.
Who cares how much it costs in lives and dollars?
What could be more fun than making Americans look bad across the world? All the rich kids missing out on the "noble cause" should have a doll that symbolizes their wealth and the Neo-con Fascism of today!
Click here for all the great words he can be programmed to repeat.

Oil Bigwig dolls, toxic wastes, environmental damages and cabinet of liars sold separately (even though you are already paying for them).

"BUT WAIT, There's  more!"


Buy the entire IMA collection and receive a free coupon for


due to be released in 2008, this techno wonder will astound you.
It will change into ALL of the IMA's. JUST LIKE YOU SAW ON TV! And by then, no one will notice with all the flurry of do-nothing security laws, that term limits were also abolished as a "security measure".

Reserve Yours Today by calling 1-900-IMA-RICH

Licensed Assessories

The Benedict Arnold Karl Rove Traitor Puppetmaster Kit.
Just attach the strings from the patented Benedict Rove Control Center and you'll have your Gee I George dancing and singing to a new treason against the American people every day of the year.

The Rush Limbaugh Approved - My Kids Love Narcotics Kit
Hey. We're rich so it's none of your business. Any law we make is a law we can break.

Talking Dashboard Jesus
Yes, you too can hear the same messages Gee I Uhhhh, gets from Jesus, every day.
Messages like, "Hi George this is Jesus. We need to kill a bunch o' people". Pat Robertson and God even said so."

The Clean Water Act
Sorry! No longer in stock. Sent down the river floating in flotsam.

The Karl Rove SmearMaster Kit
Bone up with this accessory and you can start by smearing John McCain's service record. After that, the world.

Abu Ghraib Greeting Cards
Boxed assortment of 25 'torture' cards to send out to your friends for birthdays, anniversaries, get-well or sympathy. Special order wedding and graduation announcements also available. Buy 4 boxes to get them all. And we may have even more soon if we can get the rest out of Congress' greedy little hands.

Welcome to Freedom Package
If you gots money, you gots Freedom. Unless you are in the top 0.10 %, don't even ask. You can't afford this.

The "VP 'Go-F-Yourself' Dick" Doll
Only has a vocabulary of three words but how many more do you need to express yourself as an evangelical Christian?